Feminism Humor Me Rant

Why Men Are Pathetic

I’ve written few sarcastic tirades against feminism, and it would only be fair if I wrote one against men, since I happen to be a staunch believer in equality.

Unlike my posts on feminism, one thing I can guarantee is you won’t find anything I’ve written here the least bit offensive, since men have been the official punching bag since time memorial.

She cheated on you? You probably weren’t there for her.

You cheated on her? She probably wasn’t there for you – said no man or woman EVER.

So, lets jump right into it.

Men Don’t Understand Women

We only seem to pay attention to our penises and careers, but once a woman decides to take her career seriously, that’s when the misogyny oozes out.

“How dare they?!”

We squeal as they make incredible strides in their careers, taking our jobs and overcrowding the labor pool, hence reducing the labor cost and in effect, the salaries we receive.

Economics 101 – Supply and demand.

“What do you mean women can become police officers?”

Our toxic masculinity makes us ask these questions.

“You honestly think a woman can physically restrain a criminal?”

Of course she can, because she is strong and independent enough to pursue a profession in law and order. She doesn’t need to come running for your approval every time she takes a decision.

Also, women can be just as strong, or even stronger than men, provided they put in the effort. Men can’t seem to understand that, and please stop using biology as an excuse for men’s physical superiority, it only makes you look like you know what you’re talking about an idiot.

And because men don’t understand women, this leads us to our next point,

Men Don’t Know How to Satisfy Women

All he does is fiddle around with his equipment until he is satisfied, while the woman is only there to facilitate the discharge. Think of how embarrassing it is for the woman who lays there, hoping her husband would just get it over with so she can go back to sleep, oh but wait! She has to clean the white stuff sprayed onto her mammary glands before getting some shut eyes.

Both the man and woman know her mammary glands are meant for feeding offsprings, and that her mouth is meant for eating and drinking FOOD.

Unfortunately, men can’t seem to tell the difference. We believe all holes are made equal, and thrust ourselves into it without restraint.

This is why women tend to cheat more than men do. You finished the relationship the moment you finished all over her. Yes gentlemen, if a woman cheats on us it’s our fault. You couldn’t satisfy her, and its your fault.

You had one job, ONE job, and you blew it.

All over her.

This isn’t even a facial anymore, its a mask.

Men Only Care About Sex

Which is why they play around with their junk until it erupts. And don’t give me that “Men have 18 times more testosterone than women do” as an excuse for fiddling away from dawn to dusk.

Biology is not a science, its sexist facts.

The scientific community is mostly filled with men, so the inferences drawn from the experiments they conduct are nothing but male opinions disguised as “discoveries”.

Eureka! I discovered another way to harass women!

They are trying to cover up their misogyny with fancy scientific terms.

Men may experience more sexual arousal on average, but if we accept that, then we have to accept that men and women are different, which goes against the whole notion of equality.

So lets ignore that biological fact, and shame men for being horny by design.

Men Watch More Porn

Because men only care about sex.

It leads to extreme fetishes that a real women could never satisfy.

Women don’t fantasize getting choked unconscious during sex. She doesn’t want a man to force his penis down her throat until she starts gagging on it. Also, she does NOT want a man to just stick it up her ass because he thinks its kinky and hot.

She wants a man who “respects” her, asks for permission, and lets her sleep with whoever she wants, without any repercussions. The “respect” the man provides her with in this case isn’t respect, but obedience birthed from desperation.

Simping does that to a woman.

I bet that last paragraph threw you off. When men lower their standards and start adopting feminine behavior, she shows her disapproval by hooking up with other men.


She’s a woman, and women want men, not boys. Women raise boys and sleep with men.

And those men in turn, treat them like trash. You can thank Feminism for this.

You have to strike a balance between the two.

Too much deference invites contempt, while too much aggression makes the relationship unstable.

And the best way to learn how to screw up your relationships with women is by watching porn.

You will either transform into a sex crazed maniac, and plough through every woman that crosses your path, or your erectile dysfunction will kick in and turn you into an obedient boy who only wants the best for her, by letting her boyfriend chad plough her into submission every night.

Men Have Higher Suicide Rates

Men enjoy the benefits of being put on the front lines 100% of the time. They fight wars, mine coal and petroleum, drive miles across risky terrains to procure goods, construct towering skyscrapers, fix the sewage systems just to name a few, only to get zero appreciation in return.

And they have the nerve to say life is tough for them.

Have you ever tried giving birth? What about periods, you know how painful that can be? Do you know what it’s like to be a woman in a world governed by the patriarchy? Can you even begin to imagine how difficult life is for a woman brought up in a world where her feelings and sexuality can be assaulted at any time?

Look at how sexist we men are! We are so myopic and indifferent to the problems women face on an almost regular basis.

Shame on us. We ought to know better.

But since women are the smarter ones, its no surprise that men don’t know better.

And men are so weak-willed, that we take our lives four times more than women do on average. That is solid proof of women’s resilience. Not only do they suffer more, they can handle it four times as much as men can.

Why not rely on that male privilege of yours for some help!

Men Are More Aggressive And Violent

And people think we’re crazy to denounce toxic masculinity, when the proof is in the sexist pudding. Men have no self-control, just look at Donald Trump. Instead of answering the questions posed sarcastically politely by news reporters, he lashes out at them, accusing them of spreading fake news.

Is it a crime to ask questions?

So what if the questions stem from baseless claims designed to infuriate the one being questioned while obfuscating the viewers?

Make grabbing great again!

Look, we all understand, no one is angry at Trump.

His sexist antics are a result of his toxic masculinity. We know what the root cause is, which is why we need “you go gurl” feminism to combat against it, before he builds that wall.

It’s the only way forward.

Men Can’t Stop Poking into Women’s Business

After all the abuse women have to endure, they have decided to stand up for themselves by starting a movement to counteract the centuries long sexism, only to get shot down by a bunch of sexists born with expandable rod.

All they want is equal rights to pose as a cover for their real motive, which is the subjugation of all men, so why does that seem so unfair? All the censorship and SJW hysteria have their roots in men’s actions.

We use this mystical thing called common sense to sift through their ideological drivel, and shoot them down with arrows laced with logic.

Even when they are minding their own business, plotting the destruction of all men and children, we can’t seem to stop interfering with their plans.

But good news is on the horizon, as testosterone levels have started to plummet, introducing a host of soyboy cucks that adhere to feminism, gay rights, and LGBTQA+ rights.

The future is looking bright.

For women.

For a while, since they won’t be satisfied with these soyboys for long.

In Summary

Here we are, in the 21st century, with all our advances in medicine, architecture, philosophy, literature and sexism, and we have yet to free ourselves from the patriarchy. When a civilization advances, it weeds out the vices that keep it from advancing, but our civilization has decided to cultivate them.

Men rely heavily on logic and reason and accuse women of being too emotional and sensitive to handle tough issues.

Men have their biases against women, and women have theirs, so this fight is never going to stop.

Also you can’t be a feminist because your very existence is the problem, but look on the bright side, you can call yourself an ally of feminism.

With that, I conclude my rant.

Stay tuned for the next update.

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