Trying to get your idea across via arguing is like trying to straighten a dog’s tail. People won’t be receptive to what you have to say, some may bite back and have their guard up while trying to make a run for it, especially the dog. Their response shouldn’t shock you, its a natural outcome. Arguing only validates your beliefs, and makes you look obnoxious. No one likes a loudmouth who won’t take no for an answer.
Ever noticed how a person’s body and persona changes when he finds himself trapped in an argument? He gets riled up, starts puffing out smoke, and looks like he’s about to bash someone to death. And what led to this drastic change? A discussion that resulted in a disagreement. An exchange of ideas that wasn’t properly received.
So, Whats Going On?
How could a tiny misunderstanding flare up into a full-fledged argument?
But why ego? What is it even there for?
Its there to protect us from immediate psychological harm.
“Yeah, I flunked that test yesterday. Hey its not my fault! I was busy taking care of my baby sister while my parents were out! Sure, I went out for a while but I was back before midnight. My sister? Oh she’s fine, she fell asleep on the carpet next to an empty tube of toothpaste in the apartment next door.”
As you can see, the ego is a cover, a shroud to temporarily blind us from realizing certain aspects about ourselves that are faulty. So in this particular case, what flaw is our ego trying to cover up is,
Weak Communication and Lack of Knowledge
When Communication is weak, the ego inflates to cover up that deficiency. When you try to pop the balloon called ego with arrows of criticism, it responds to those threats by blowing off some of its air to throw them off its trajectory. The ego always tends to grow by feeding off on our insecurities. It’s a defence mechanism that works fine if you have a decent amount of self-esteem. That’s hardly to case in the 21st century, with the advent of smartphones and social media that has successfully crippled our desire to meet people in public and develop a distaste for face to face conversation.
And everyone seems to know everything these days. Ask them whether they know that the sun is a giant ball of hot turbulent gases swirling around at speeds no human being could possibly fathom, while the heat and pressure at its core is intense enough to fuse atoms of hydrogen together, producing new elements, and they’ll tell you,
“Yeah bro, I know. I’ve always known that, IN FACT, I’m the one who helped NASA discover it.”
Okay, maybe that last example was a little exaggerated, but you get my point, people rarely admit to not knowing even if they can barely spell it. Not knowing is seen as shameful, and people try to hide it under a poker face as they nod and say ‘Yes, I understand.’ , not understanding anything.
Hydro is water, gin is alcohol-OH MY GOD, the Sun runs on alcohol! Now thats something we share in common. Personally, I prefer taking the Hydro out of gin and drink whatever’s leftover. So, where’s my Nobel Prize?
So we argue and many don’t see a problem with this response since everyone defaults to it, but here I am telling you that it is a problem.
You Got a Problem With That!
You don’t make friends by arguing with them. It will light a fire between you and them, but not the kind you are hoping for. It’s the type that makes people cover their faces while running away in the opposite direction. Its like throwing petrol onto fire, hoping it extinguishes the fire. All that does is transform it into a roaring fire, with the people involved roaring at each other in an attempt to show who the real king of the jungle is. If you’re the type that hates company, then go ahead and put it into action, and watch the magic happen. It works wonders as a social repellent.
Oh, you’re a feminist? Well, forgive my masculinity, I meant “Person” of the jungle.
The vast majority prefer keeping company with each other and staying in their respective social circles without causing division. Sure, you’ll always have disagreements, but never let it morph into an argument, under any circumstance. It will make you look like a fool even, no matter the outcome. Being right is good, but being level headed is supreme. People look up to those who are calm and keep their mouths shut. When things go south, who are you going to depend on? The smartass who can’t stop running his mouth or the guy who opens his mouth only when the need arises?
You won’t have all the answers to life, and but will have enough questions to ask if you decide to pelt stones at every dog that barks at you, the kind of questions that invoke regret. It starts this way, “Why did I do X?”
“Wouldn’t it have been better to do Y?”
“Or better, wouldn’t it have been better to keep my mouth shut?”
“Why did I pelt them with those stones? Now those stupid dogs won’t stop chasing me!”
You Get What You Put Out.
If you pull out your tongue, they will pull out theirs in response. If you’re sarcastic towards them, they will greet you with the same response. If you leave snide remarks, they will leave you the same response. If you pull your pants down, you’ll get arrested and pinned on the sex offenders list. Sorry, you don’t always get what you want.
Arguing is smart if you’re dumb, because that’s the only option you can resort to. Thinking is beyond you, so default to your fight and flight response, hoping things work work out fine.